It Gets Better

The Valley CARE Coalition proudly presents stories from Valley County residents who have struggled, continue to struggle, or have found peace surrounding mental health, substance use disorders, or behavioral health. Battling this is a symbol of strength and courage and should be highlighted as such.

June 1st, 2018, at 18yo I decided today was the day I end my life. At first, I didn’t necessarily want to die. I wanted to sleep; I wanted the voices in my head to stop yelling. I took one pill. Then 2. Then 4… until the entire bottle was gone. I laid in bed waiting for the voices to hush… forever. I laid there feeling sleepy and eventually “dying” I was resuscitated 2 times. I was hooked up to tubes. One was down my throat breathing for me. I was given a 25% chance of making it off the plane they life flighted me to Billings on. Everyone fought so hard for me to live, and I had given up. After waking up in the hospital I felt like a failure. “I can’t even kill myself right” is all I kept telling myself. I was angry I had to be here. It wasn’t until my sister crawled up next to me in tears and said “promise me you’ll never leave me, I need you” “promise me” I made that promise to her and I did what I had to do to get better.

I fought. Hard. After many therapists and medications to get me on the right path. I made it. The battle is exhausting and long but my will to live was immense. I had to remind myself daily that any voices in my head telling me life isn’t worth it are demons. I fight those demons every day. I’m here to tell you life does get better. 5 years after hitting the lowest point in my life, I am proud of how far I’ve come on my own journey. I am a successful business owner I am now getting married to the man who completes me, and I have a son who doesn’t even know how much he saved me from myself.

My only advice to those who are thinking about harming yourself or taking your own life is: Get help, change therapists if you need, change that medication, either way just keep pushing. Keep going. Keep working. Keep living. The world is a better place with you in it. Your time isn’t finished on this earth. Be proud of the struggles you’ve overcame. Life is a beautiful thing. Embrace it. It gets better. I’m living proof.

Do you want to share your story? Please visit the project tab on the Valley CARE Coalition website (valleycarecoalition.com) to submit your story. All submissions are anonymous.