Amaryllis Grower, Maleficent Me?

This week I'm going to maybe bore you with the info I've gleaned on amaryllis plants. Aren't you excited?

These bulbs are ubiquitous in the Christmas season. They are 'forced' to bloom during this time of year, when we long for that burst of color to cheer us in the blah-ness of the onset of winter. Normally, left in nature, these plants would bloom in the spring.

In fact, the word amaryllis is taken from the Greek amarysso, which means "to sparkle." It also means "pride, determination, and radiant beauty." Most of the amaryllis we grow now are hybrids, from the genus Hippeastrom ssp. These hybrids are native to South America, growing from Brazil through the Andes.

True amaryllis are from South Africa and belong to the Amaryllidaceae family, which includes daffodils, African lilies, Easter lilies, snowdrops, and cape tulips. They're also closely related to onions, garlic, chives, leeks, and shallots. But don't eat your amaryllis: it contains calcium oxalate crystallizes and lycarine,alkaloids. These are poisonous to mammals.

The bulbs are easy to grow and care for. You can purchase kits or bare bulbs. Kits will contain all you need to get one going. If you go with a bare bulb, look for one that's firm and shows no signs of rot or mold. Larger bulbs yield larger blooms. They grow best in a ceramic or glass pot, but must have drainage holes to prevent root rot. Don't get a pot that's too large: they do best with only 1" of space surrounding the bulb. Use a porous planting medium rich in compost. Leave 1/4 to 1/3 of the bulb above the soil.

While these bulbs are tropical plants, and as such love heat and humidity, they don't like being overwatered. Placing the pot on a pebble-strewn tray filled with water is helpful. Some people use a heat mat under the pot as well. They prefer bright indirect light, not direct sunlight. Avoid drafts and radiators. They like temps of 60° to 70° (which doesn't seem like heat to me).

It's also helpful to insert a support stake when planting since the flowers are top-heavy. You could add one later, but risk damaging the roots. Turn the pot every few days to keep the flower stalk growing straight. If you cut the flower stalk and put it in a vase, the blooms can last as long as two weeks, much longer that on the plant. If you leave it on the plant, trim the spent flower off leaving the stem to help put growth back into the bulb. Once the stem turns yellow, trim it off about 2" above the bulb.

You can move the pots outside for the summer. Go ahead and fertilize them. Bring the pots back inside in August. Store in a cool, dark place, withholding water, until early to mid-November. Remove the dead leaves. Then bring the pot back into the light and warmth and resume watering. You could repot the bulb at that time, or switch out the top couple inches of soil with fresh.

I don't follow this advice at all. I bring mine back inside in September, just in time to avoid frosts. I put them in a south window where they get direct sunlight. They stay watered. Sometimes some die back, I still water them, but don't soak them. They will start growing again. They also get chilled from being so close to theglass. They'll bloom whenever they feel like it. I like being surprised with their blooms whenever they decide to grace me with their sparkle. (I didn't know about them lasting longer if cut and put in a vase. I'll have to try that next time one offers blossoms.)

So far in researching my houseplants, I've discovered I'm growing a lot of poisonous plants inside: orchid cactus, Christmas cactus, flamingo flower, snake plants, birds nest plant. And outside I have rhubarb and honeysuckle. In my defense, the birds planted the honeysuckles. I joke about Dennis watching too many true crime shows on tv because he's trying to find the flaws in others' murder schemes. Is he planning a "perfect" crime to off me? So far he hasn't seen a perfect crime. Perhaps he should worry a bit about my "gardening"?

Ned Stark ("Winter is coming") in Game of Thrones remarked, "I've heard it said that poison is a woman's weapon." Grand Master Pycelle responded, "Yes. Women, cravens, and eunuchs."

Poisonous equals toxic, deadly, sneaky. Synonyms are baneful, venomous, maleficent.

I'm both a woman and sneaky...am I maleficent? Probably not. I'm craven enough to want to avoid prison.