My Sobriety Journey

The morning of March 1, 2006, I drove myself back to the bar I had left just a few hours before. I arrived when the bar opened to look around and try to piece together any memory from the previous night while hoping I would at least find some of the things I had lost. The bartender was helpful, but we were unsuccessful in locating my missing items (dignity included).

Wherever I looked, no memories were coming back to me. I ordered a beer. I sat alone at an empty bar all day. I made no phone calls; I saw no one besides the bartender, just ordered beer after beer until the evening crowd started to arrive.

Then, I drove myself home. I walked into my house and laid down on my living room floor, drunk, defeated, and wanting out.

When I woke up, hungover, around 10 p.m., something compelled me to get myself up off the floor and walk to the kitchen.

Before I had time to give it a second thought, I started pouring out all of the alcohol I owned. Can after can down the drain. Honestly, at that point, I didn’t feel much… but of what I could feel - I know there was some relief. I went to bed.

The next day, I decided to be done drinking alcohol forever. I called and messaged friends to tell them that I had decided to be sober; I was moving forward in life without alcohol. I felt good about my decision, but what was lying ahead for me in the next few days, weeks, and months was not at all what I expected. My phone had almost no notifications. I was so used to hearing from dozens of people every day to find out where we would meet up to hang out for the night.

Suddenly, there was only silence. It was as if I had disappeared off the face of the earth. Luckily for me, and my journey, I had a few very close friends that did check on me and continue to invite me out, but I went from several people reaching out daily to one or two, literally overnight.

I wanted to share this story because I think it is important for people to recognize just how impactful a simple reach out or check-in can be when someone makes a giant life decision, such as becoming sober.

According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics, 139.8 million Americans 12 and over drink alcohol, while 14.8 million have an alcohol use disorder. Alcohol is the most abused substance in our country, which makes sense. It is legal, easy to access, and dubbed fairly harmless. It’s marketed for every age group and can pretty much be expected to be a part of almost every social gathering. Kids drink it underage, college students live on it, adults use it as an excuse to get together or because it’s Tuesday and life is hard.

As of March 2, 2022, I am 16 years sober. I know sobriety looks different for everyone, but for me, the easy part is not drinking, the hard part is the stigma that comes with not drinking. I have been questioned, laughed at, and left out more times than I can count. Although being sober is a choice I made and am very proud of sticking to, sometimes it is still hard to be sober in a drinking world.

So I would ask that if you’re reading this today, please extend a little extra grace to those around you, especially if they pass on a drink the next time you’re out together. Asking someone why they are sober or excluding them because “they don’t drink” isn’t awesome, but being kind is.