Without My Faith, I Wouldn't Be Here Now

It’s soon going to be eight years since I was diagnosed with cancer. I went through major surgery and six months of chemotherapy. Not quite five years later, I was told my cancer had returned and mestastasized to my bones. I then began a regimen of hormone therapy medications - four or five different ones. Each one would work for a few months and then become ineffective.

So just about a year ago, the oncologist decided my treatment was going to have to change to chemotherapy infusion. That meant having surgery to insert a port in my chest that is accessed to give me chemo drugs. Once a month, I’m given an infusion of a medicine along with the chemo that is supposed to help keep my bones strong.

The treatments don’t make me sick. However, they do make me very tired and I have several side effects from the chemo. My energy level is not very high. Watching a game and a half of basketball at the school and I’m ready to call it a night.

Currently, I’m not able to do everything I want to, mostly because of my low-energy level and a decrease in my strength.

Yet, there are many many things I look forward to, such as going out to lunch with a girlfriend, attending a meal at the senior citizen center and sitting in on the monthly meeting of the Nashua Senior Citizen Association. Going to church on Sunday and helping to lead the saying of the Rosary brings me a quiet joy and sense of peace.

Grandchildren stopping by for a visit or to spend the night are a highlight of my week. Even though I cannot get up to make breakfast for them, since my medications contribute to my sleeping until 10 a.m. or even 12 noon, they are very understanding and take care of themselves.

Phone calls from family and friends add a pleasant note to my day. It brings me a great deal of happiness to catch up on what is going on in their lives. The conversations bring them closer to me each time they call.

Having cancer is scary. Especially if you are told it is incurable. A radiation oncologist told me that although I’ve been diagnosed as incurable, my cancer is manageable. Yes, I’ll have low energy and strength and experience constant fatigue, there will be days nothing will taste good, but with patience I’ll manage.

I don’t dwell on my diagnosis. I try my best to think instead of what I can do to make life enjoyable and how I can help other people. I try to share my skills and talents to benefit my family, my community, the school my grandchildren attend, and my church.

A positive attitude, of course, helps tremendously. But, for me, what helps even more is my faith. I inherently know that without my faith, I wouldn’t be here now.

Every person must determine for themselves what is important to them, what makes their life worthwhile, what keeps them moving forward. For me, that’s my family, my friends, my community, and the good I can do with my life.