Acceptance Isn't Resignation

An actor being interviewed about his medical diagnosis stated, “Acceptance isn’t resignation.” He was so right.

When I was told in January 2010 I had a blood clot in my arm and could lose a finger because of it, my first feeling was one of fear. Fear that I could lose more than a finger. Fear that my arm and hand would never be the same. But I knew I had to accept the way things were and try to move forward. So I had the surgery and everything turned out fine. The neurosurgeon was able to remove what turned out to be two clots in my arm and saved my finger.

A month later, acceptance was again in front of me when I was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer. “Why did this happen to me,” I asked. Yet there was nothing for me to do but accept what I was going to have to face and find my own way to deal with it.

One week after my surgery, a friend told me his daughter had died. She and I had become friends and frequently enjoyed long telephone calls. Over time, we had become close and were looking forward to meeting in person.

Again, acceptance of something, but this time it was acceptance of a situation I had no say in or control over -- the loss of my friend. I knew I would miss her terribly. Miss our conversations, the laughs we shared, the memories we made together. A light had gone out in my life. However, as hard as it was to accept her passing, I knew she was no longer in pain and I couldn’t feel sorry about that.

Two weeks later, I was being asked to accept having six months of chemotherapy. Once my doctor explained the treatment, I knew that I would accept his advice because I knew it was a step I had to take in order to survive.

Many times throughout our lives we are faced with situations we are asked to accept - times when we don’t want to but know we must. That’s especially so when a family member or good friend dies. We understand we have no control over their passing, yet it’s hard to accept their leaving. We also know we have to find a way to handle our grief. But we can’t forget that our grief has to run its own course. There’s no way to hurry it or make it move slower or to go backwards.

“Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation.” Acceptance is realizing things happen to us we have no control over and that it’s then up to us how to deal with a situation. How to find a way to get through the loss of a loved one, a medical diagnosis, a decision we may not agree with. Once we accept whatever it is we are facing, we are then capable of handling it and moving forward.