Co-opting 'Covfefe'

In 2014, I bought my first “adult” car. It was a beautiful four-door Ford pickup, which, to me, signaled that I had finally made it from adolescence to the age and independent man.

Not only was I proud of my freshly acquired vehicle but I also thought it would be funny to make the license plate read, “GBUSH” after one of my political heroes and the president of my youth. Sadly, I recently traded in my pickup for a new vehicle and not to be outdone by my previous purchase, along with a healthy admiration of politics, I opted for another politically inspired plate.

But fact is stranger than fiction. I received a letter in the mail from the Motor Vehicle Division of the Montana Department of Justice that my personalized plate has been rejected. The letter read that my personalized text was not allowed.

“CVFEFE” was what I had chosen, a shortened version of the word covfefe which President Trump tweeted as a typo a few months ago. His tweet said “despite the negative media covfefe.”

Many people assumed he meant to type coverage but had sent the tweet before double checking for error. A few hours later, realizing his mistake, the President jokingly tweeted out, “who can figure out the true meaning of “covfefe” ??? Enjoy!” It soon became a worldwide phenomenon, an instant internet meme with countless news cycles immortalizing it into pop culture. So why did the MVD reject my harmless political satire?

Joann Loehr, the bureau chief of the Title and Registration Bureau within the MVD, said that her personal analysis was that it was inappropriate. She said, “it’s a connotation we would not want on our streets... we have to keep it tasteful and not disrespectful.”

Her source for labeling covfefe inappropriate was oddly drawn from the Urban Dictionary, a website which users submit their own definitions for words with no vetting system for accuracy in place. The definition Loehr is referring to is by a user who defined covfefe as:

“Covfefe is the once secret name of an ancient tentacle monster that white supremacists fornicate with. The name was leaked to the public when Donald Trump, well known leaker of classified info, tweeted while relieving his arousal upon its girth. In the throes of passion, Trump cried out the name of his lover mid-tweet, EJACULATING IT INTO CYBERSPACE!”

I had never heard of covfefe referenced as that, had you? To add to the disingenuousness of this whole ordeal, a quick check shows that specific definition was added posthumously after Trump had sent his tweet. So, believe it or not, the president was not tweeting about an ancient tentacle monster that white supremacists fornicate with and the definition didn’t even exist until after his tweet was posted.

In fact, there are hundreds of other definitions on Urban Dictionary that are in no way related to this and have received more positive reviews. It is complete nonsense and our public officials are not that stupid. So why was this absurd definition by an anonymous person on a comedic crowdsourced website singled out?

It is a political game in a culture war. We have a Democratic governor with hundreds of appointed Democrat officials running the machinisms top down in our state. They want to change the political temperature in the room, censoring speech.

The more people you see riding around with “MAGA”, “TRUMP” or “CVFEFE” license plates, the more it slowly changes the culture in favor of the right. This is something conservatives have been trying for a long time and the tide is slowly turning center-right politics to be the dominant culture.

Leftists would love to squash this at any turn. Finding an excuse to demonize the right and to halt its recently earned philosophical momentum is the goal. In fact, when I customized my plate, I chose a special edition plate that made a 55 dollar donation to the Bird of Pray Foundation in Billings, Mont. BPF is a “nonprofit that exists primarily to bring basic aid and much-needed hope to children in desperate need throughout developing countries.”

Corrupt bureaucrats would rather reject my license plate, shadow shafting conservatives, than accept a donation to a worthwhile charity. Loehr’s careless definition and statement is irresponsible and does nothing but push that false and overused narrative that Trump supporters are white supremacists.

Not all states show statistics on license plates but at least 21 other states have people who use covfefe license plates. I am still in the process of talking with the Title and Registration Bureau, hoping they will accept reason over madness. And I’m on the continual lookout for new candidates for my customized plate. Please send suggestions to: [email protected]

Michael Burns is the finance chair of the Valley County Republicans central committee.