Dementia or Alzheimer's

You were never wanted in our lives. But you entered them anyway. You are a destroyer -- of lives, of hopes, of dreams, of peace and tranquility.

Because of you, patience is put to a test, it should never have to be. Sleep sometimes is difficult to come by.

Conversations are a thing of the past because of you. No longer can we talk about what not only is going on in the world, but about family, grandchildren, friends. We try, but at times it takes a while.

And memory - in so many instances it doesn’t even exist anymore. Oh, yes, he remembers some of his past, but told about an appointment or something we want to go to, he doesn’t remember for five minutes. Even simple things like forgetting to close a cupboard door after getting out a dish. Or emptying two wastebaskets when there are four that need to be taken care of.

Names completely escape him - even names of family members. And if I mention the name of a friend we haven’t seen for a while, he has trouble placing who I’m talking about.

It isn’t just names of people he can’t remember, it’s also the names of foods. As he’s eating, he will sometimes ask, “What do you call this?”

His memory will continue to deteriorate because of you - deteriorate to the point where he won’t even know who I am or recognize our children and grandchildren, even forget his own name. He will forget how to take a shower, eat with a fork and spoon, even when he needs to use the bathroom. The time will come when he stops talking with anyone.

He will exist in his own world and at the same time be frustrated because somehow, somewhere he knows that he should remember things and people, but can’t. You will make him feel helpless and that he is worthless and ask why he can’t just leave this world. There are times he already feels that way because of you. You will even cause his body to fail because his brain will no longer be able to send the signals needed to eat, sleep, fight infection, breathe.

There are days it isn’t easy to deal with everything because of you. Frustration, denial, and anger bring clouds to our home. You cause exhaustion - physical and mental. You even try to get depression to join you.

You are cruel and unforgiving. It matters not to you that you destroy everything good in a person. To take away their compassion and kindness as well as their love for everything that’s precious to them. You destroy their minds and leave them an empty shell.

The sorrow you bring to the ones who dearly love a person is immeasurable. And their sadness is deep and unforgettable. Yet it doesn’t bother you. You keep going ... keep heaping sorrow upon sorrow.

We take things day by day, hour by hour. There are still times and days that are good and each one is savored to the fullest.

Often the question is asked, “Why did you come into our lives?” But no answer presents itself.

Whether you go by the name of Dementia or Alzheimer’s, you are something to be abhorred and always will be. Hopefully there will come the day when you will no longer exist - no longer destroy lives. What a glorious day that will be.