Twixt the Devil and the Sea

It’s getting on to election time. Are you ready? Have you heard enough about the candidates for the next POTUS? Do you believe most of the trash both candidates are talking? Is the Trump fortune enough to sway your good judgment to his side? Is the fact that Hillary is a woman enough for you to cast your vote her way?

Here’s the way I see it. Stay tuned for this important message from your friendly ambulance chasers at Dewey, Chasem and Howe, 666 Faked ‘em Lane, Thoeny, MT 592 and a half.

We’re back, thanks for sticking around. Now here’s the real poop as I see it. No warm and fuzzy spoken here. No nostalgia. Just the facts ma’am.

Are you ready to trust your country to a man who has failed in business three or five times? He’s filed for bankruptcy four times. He went public selling just his name and stock in a few questionable, and deeply indebted casino/hotels, the most famous being the Taj Mahal.

All told, when the debts on his vast holdings was tallied by his bankers, he owed more than 2 billion dollars. His properties were worth less than a fourth of the debt. And he was paying himself a whopping 44 million dollars per year.

His bankers got together and decided the cost to foreclose on all of Trump’s holdings would cause a vast financial earthquake on Wall Street, so they put together a package that would bail out The Donald and make him healthy again. They cut off his 44 million and put him on poverty wages. His allowance was JUST $420,000 .... per month. Yikes, poverty indeed. I mean, who can possibly live on that?

Since that time, Trump has parlayed a fortune dealing on just his name. TRUMP. There are Trump Towers or similar holdings in more than a dozen countries around the world with the Trump name emblazoned on them. Trump doesn’t own any of em’. He simply charges the builder/owner for the use of his name (Hey! Mister Builder ... my name can be had cheaper than that!).

Trump is a bully, a blowhard and narcissistic. He is rude to a fault, his people skills are that of a Mafia Don. He speaks a great game but really now, do you think he’s presidential material?

The other candidate has been in semi-trouble with shady real estate dealings and other nefarious dealings ever since her hubby was Governator of Arkansas. You millennials are too young to recall the Whitewater scandal.

Most recently during her stint as Secretary of State, she traveled to over 120 countries clandestingly to beg money for her upcoming presidential campaign and to put out a couple brush fires. No one seems to know where six billion dollars went either. No one’s talking. And what government secrets did she disclose and to whom did she disclose them to. (I know. Don’t end a sentence with a preposition. Get off my back. After all I attended some of my informative school years in Saco.)

And her recovery from losing great face over Bill’s midnight rambling’s in the White House with several or more babes, not the least known was Monica Lewd-winsky. Really now, how many of you women who are going to vote for Mrs. Clinton just because she’s a woman would ever turn the other cheek when confronted with the info that your better half had been promisingly promiscuous with a bevy of babes?

And then there’s the flap over the cowardly attack in the American Embassy in Benghazi. Like the Kennedy assassination, I fear we will never bring the culpable culprits to justice, either for the deed itself, for the nonchalant, cavalier way Clinton et-alia mishandled the situation getting several Americans killed. Despicably disgraceful indeed.

So the bottom line is this, simply. Do you want a semi-crook who took lots of folk’s hard-earned retirement money to invest in his casinos and hotels and never paid out a red dime in dividends? Can you trust the Trump?

Or would you rather trust your future and the future of this once great country to a woman who can’t seem to keep a secret, allegedly selling secret and top secret government information to the highest bidder without regard to the damage she has caused.

Gadzooks folks, what a choice. An alleged cheap, thievin’ thug or an alleged cheap lyin’ thugette? (See how I cleverly covered my a$$ with that “alleged” stuff?)

That’s it for now folks. Thanks for listening.