To My Grandchildren: Part II

Last week I wrote a column titled To My Grandchildren. There was more I wanted to add to that column but wasn’t able to, so this week I’m finishing what I wanted to say.

Refrain from gossiping. It isn’t good for anyone -- not for the person you are talking about and especially not for you. Many times when not all the facts are known about a person’s situation, people will add their own idea to the story. Don’t be a part of saying things about another person that are not true. Gossip has been known to destroy a person’s life. You don’t want to be included in something like that.

Dress appropriately for school not matter what level you are at and for your job. Your appearance tells volumes about you. I know you want to dress like the other students, especially when you are in junior high and high school. But remember that whatever the style is at the moment isn’t necessarily one that you should be wearing. How you dress reflects the respect you have for yourself and if you are working in the public, your style of dress also shows your respect for your employer and the customers of the business.

And don’t forget your manners. Be polite. We are living in a technological world now. And cell phones have become such a part of our lives it’s almost like they are glued to some people’s ears. Then there’s texting. I’ve observed so many times people texting when, in some cases, it is downright rude. Quite often I will see several people who are having lunch together totally engrossed in their phones.

Don’t act like it’s a major inconvenience to go places with your parents. You’ll have a tendency to do this, especially if you are a teenager, but give them the respect they deserve and join in with a smile instead of a frown. You never know how the trip will turn out. You might even find yourself having fun.

And talk to your parents. Tell them about your day at school. If you are troubled about something or unsure if you should go with your friends, don’t be afraid to ask your parents for advice. They weren’t born adults. They know far more than you think they do. Their first and foremost concern is you and your wellbeing and safety.

Should your parents give you a curfew, respect it. Again, they love you and know what is best. Curfews are part of teenage life. They are not meant to ruin your fun. And sometimes, you may discover you are glad you do have a curfew.

Although this column is aimed primarily at my grandchildren, I want to add one thing for all parents. You are your child’s parent -- not their buddy. Children need guidance and discipline. The worst discipline you can give your child is no discipline. They need rules to live by and limits. And they need to know there are consequences to their actions. And that those consequences will be enforced. So what if you think they view you as the bad guy sometimes? In truth, at times, especially when your child is a teenager, they will want somebody to blame whether it’s about curfew or needing permission to go somewhere or do something. It’s easier for them to blame their parents at times than for them, in their mind, to be seen as not wanting to be part of the “in” crowd.

Back to my grandchildren. When you get to the point of having an idea of what you want your life to be like as an adult, you will be successful if you remember some basics. Be kind, be respectful, don’t gossip, don’t look down on others or think you are better than someone else. My dad always told me no one else is better than me but neither am I better than someone else.

Be generous with your time and talents. Be compassionate and have concern for others. A lot of times what a person needs is a shoulder to cry on or someone to just listen to them rather than be given things or money.

There’s a song I’ve always loved. It’s titled “No Man Is An Island.” The first line is: No man is an island, no man walks alone. Remember that. Some people may feel at times they are alone. You may even feel that way sometimes. But you aren’t alone and neither are they. We all have others in our lives.

Respect others’ ideas and opinions. That is part of learning and growing. And don’t forget to follow your heart and dreams. Never let anyone convince you to settle for less.

And lastly, be thankful. Be thankful for what you have, for your family, for the chances and opportunites that come your way, for being able to help someone else, for what others give you, for life.

I’ve a friend who always says, “Be the reason someone smiles.” What better way is there to live?