Elfward Snowden, Elf on the Shelf, Speaks

Elfward Snowden, an operative of the Elf on the Shelf program of the North Pole, spoke exclusively to the Courier this past weekend. “The children around here know what’s going on,” he said. He confirmed that Santa Claus’ workshop uses an extensive spying operation to determine if children are naughty or nice.

Confirming long-held suspicions about how Santa knows who to deliver gifts or coal to, Elfward grinned, “The letters from local school kids were right: Santa uses the Elf on the Shelf program, snow globes, and invisible cameras.”

Sheriff Glen Meier says they are looking into Elfward’s disappearance. “We are taking this seriously. We want to protect Santa’s gift-giving secrets and the Christmas spirit.”

Elfward is at an undisclosed location. Rumors have put him at the South Pole, yet others say he is seeking asylum with the Easter Bunny.

For more on Letters to Santa, see pages 4A, 5A, 6A and 8A.